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Sensual Touch Therapy for Women in New York
Sensual Genital Massage
Sensual genital massage employs many of the same techniques as traditional massage, but takes things a step further. Usually given between consensual sexual partners, sensual massage involves stimulation of the genitals and often ends with an orgasmic response.
Rubbing Your Lover the Right Way
Be clear on one thing: a back rub, while divine, is NOT a sensual massage. A back rub is powerful, short and effective at ridding your body of tension, aches and pains. Sensual massage is long, languorous and erotic, and involves a great deal of nudity and intimate touching. You give your mom a back rub. You give your lover a sensual massage.
If you've never given one of these wonderfully erotic massages, never fear. These simple, step-by-step instructions will leave you feeling and acting like an experienced sensual masseuse or masseur.
Before You Begin
Before you start rubbing your honey, take a moment to set the mood:
Talk to your partner about your upcoming experience. Make sure he or she understands the difference between traditional and sensual massage -- if she's expecting the former, an erotic massage might be quite unwelcome!
Start by connecting with your partner. This will vary from couple to couple, so follow your instincts. You might kiss his or her face, lightly touch his or her body, or gaze into one another's eyes. When you both feel connected, invite your partner to lie face down on the massage table or bed, and arrange pillows and towels to his or her liking.
Begin by lightly stroking your partner's body with the tips of your fingers. Start with the back, and then move to the shoulders, arms, buttocks, thighs and calves. Remember to use only light, teasing strokes. When you sense that your partner is relaxed (you might have to ask), you are ready to progress to massage.
Look into your partner's eyes as you begin touching his or her genitals. Make sure the rapport you built at the beginning of the tantric massage still exists; if it does not, try to reestablish it by slowing down and asking your partner a few questions about what he or she is experiencing. As you proceed with genital massage, remember to use your free hand to tease the rest of your partner's body.
Female Genital Massage
Start by gently rubbing the entire vulva, follow with clitoral stimulation, and finish with internal and clitoral stimulation -- don't forget the G-Spot! Remember that vaginal penetration usually doesn't feel good unless she is already in a fairly high state of arousal. If your partner is comfortable, feel free to use a vibrator to assist you in the massage.
Male Genital Massage
Begin by applying some lubricant to the palm of your hands and rubbing it gently into the penis and testicles. Male genital massage is guided by one main principle: slow down and stop or change what you are doing just before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Ask your partner to let you know if he is about to ejaculate, or develop a signal - verbal cues, raising a hand, pulling away slightly, or even subtle body language cues can all work well. It's usually best to vary strokes at the beginning, and then concentrate on one or two kinds of strokes as the massage nears completion. By bringing your lover to the peak without allowing him to ejaculate, you prolong the massage and help your lover have a more intense orgasm.
Hold Each Other
After the massaging is finished and you are both relaxed, remember to spend some time together before falling asleep or running out the door. You have both just shared an extremely intimate experience. Hold each other, talk to each other, and enjoy the intimacy as long as you can. Be positive about the experience, especially if it was your first time. Remember, practice makes perfect!
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Debut of the first vibrator in 1869.
Developed by an American physician, George Taylor, M.D., it was a large, cumbersome, steam-powered apparatus. Taylor recommended it for treatment of an illness known at the time as "female hysteria." Hysteria, from the Greek for "suffering uterus," involved anxiety, irritability, sexual fantasies, "pelvic heaviness" and "excessive" vaginal lubrication -- in other words, sexual arousal.However, since it was the Victorian era, women were not considered to be at all sexual and it was therefore deemed a disease. Physicians of that era treated hysteria by massaging sufferers' vulvas until they experienced dramatic relief through "paroxysm" (orgasm). Unfortunately, hysteria was a recurrent condition and repeated treatment was often necessary. Taylor touted his steam-driven massage device as speeding treatment while reducing physician fatigue.
The Technology of Orgasm and the Vibrator
By NATALIE ANGIER, The New York Times
When female patients suffered "hysterical" or "neurasthenic" symptoms, doctors saw wonderful results from"pelvic massage," culminating in orgasm. The patient was pleased enough to guarantee her habitual patronage.
Electricity has given so much comfort to womankind, such surcease to her life of drudgery. It gave her the vacuum cleaner, the pop-up toaster and the automatic ice dispenser. And perhaps above all, it gave her the vibrator. In the annals of Victorian medicine, a time of "Goetze's device for producing dimples" and "Merrell's strengthening cordial, liver invigorator and purifier of the blood," the debut of the electromechanical vibrator in the early 1880s was one medical event that truly worked wonders -- safely, reliably, repeatedly.
As historian Rachel Maines describes in her exhaustively researched if decidedly offbeat work, "The Technology of Orgasm: 'Hysteria,' the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction" (Johns Hopkins Press, 1999), the vibrator was developed to perfect and automate a function that doctors had long performed for their female patients: the relief of physical, emotional and sexual tension through external pelvic massage, culminating in orgasm. For doctors, the routine had usually been tedious, with about as much erotic content as a Kenneth Starr document. "Most of them did it because they felt it was their duty," Dr. Maines said in an interview. "It wasn't sexual at all."
The vibrator, she argues, made that job easy, quick and clean. With a vibrator in the office, a doctor could complete in seconds or minutes what had taken up to an hour through manual means. With a vibrator, a female patient suffering from any number of symptoms labeled "hysterical" or "neurasthenic" could be given relief -- or at least be pleased enough to guarantee her habitual patronage.
"I'm sure the women felt much better afterwards, slept better, smiled more," said Dr. Maines. Besides, she added, hysteria, as it was traditionally defined, was an incurable, chronic disease. "The patient had to go to the doctor regularly," Dr. Maines said. "She didn't die. She was a cash cow."
Nowadays, it is hard to fathom doctors giving their patients what Dr. Maines calls regular "vulvular" massage, either manually or electromechanically. But the 1899 edition of the Merck Manual, a reference guide for physicians, lists massage as a treatment for hysteria (as well as sulfuric acid for nymphomania). And in a 1903 commentary on treatments for hysterical patients, Dr. Samuel Howard Monell wrote that "pelvic massage (in gynecology) has its brilliant advocates and they report wonderful results."
But he noted that many doctors had difficulty treating patients "with their own fingers," and hailed the vibrator as a godsend: "Special applicators (motor driven) give practical value and office convenience to what otherwise is impractical."
Small wonder that by the turn of the 20th century, about 20 years after Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville patented the first electromechanical vibrator, there were at least two dozen models available to the medical profession. There were musical vibrators, counterweighted vibrators, vibratory forks, undulating wire coils called vibratiles, vibrators that hung from the ceiling, vibrators attached to tables, floor models on rollers and portable devices that fit in the palm of the hand.
A text from 1883 called "Health For Women" recommended the new vibrators for treating "pelvic hyperemia," or congestion of the genitalia. Vibrators were also marketed directly to women, as home appliances. In fact, the vibrator was only the fifth household device to be electrified, after the sewing machine, fan, tea kettle and toaster, and preceding by about a decade the vacuum cleaner and electric iron -- perhaps, Dr. Maines suggests, "reflecting consumer priorities."
Advertised in such respectable periodicals as Needlecraft, Woman's Home Companion, Modern Priscilla and the Sears, Roebuck catalog, vibrators were pitched as "aids that every woman appreciates," with the delicious promise that "all the pleasures of youth ... will throb within you."
Significantly, the vibrators and their accoutrements almost never took the form of the dildo, for the simple reason that vibrators were meant to be used externally. As a result, medically indicated massage therapy could be pitched as upstanding and asexual -- and less risque than the gynecologist's speculum, which came under heavy ethical fire when it was first introduced in the late 19th century.
Dr. Maines's investigations led her to conclude that doctors became the keepers of the female orgasm for several related reasons. To begin with, women have been presumed since Hippocrates' day, if not earlier, to suffer from some sort of "womb furie" -- the word "hysteria," after all, derives from uterus. The result was thought to be a spectacular assortment of symptoms, including lassitude, irritability, depression, confusion, palpitations of the heart, headaches, forgetfulness, insomnia, muscle spasms, stomach upsets, writing cramps, ticklishness and weepiness.
Who better to treat the wayward female than a physician, and where better to address his ministrations than toward the general area of her rebellious female parts?
Dr. Maines also proposes that women historically have suffered from a lack of sexual satisfaction -- that they needed somebody's help to have the orgasms they were not having in the bedroom. By the tenets of what she calls the "androcentric" model of sex, women were supposed to be satisfied by the motions of heterosexual intercourse -- the missionary position and its close proxies.
Yet as many studies have shown, at least two-thirds of women fail to reach orgasm through coitus alone, Dr. Maines said. As a result, she said, many women historically may have spent their lives in an orgasm deficit, without necessarily identifying it as such. At the same time, religious edicts against masturbation discouraged women from self-exploration. "In effect," she writes, "doctors inherited the task of producing orgasm in women because it was a job nobody else wanted."
Vibrators are still widely available, of course -- unless you happen to live in Alabama, Georgia and Texas, where state legislatures have banned the sale of vibrators and other "sex toys." The American Civil Liberties Union is now vigorously challenging the Alabama statute. If Alabama permits the prescribing of the anti-impotence drug Viagra, the ACLU argues, how dare it tell women that they can't have their own electromechanical prescription for joy?
I hope this article, brought to you by Her Private Pleasures -- bodywork with a sensual touch for women in New York -- has helped you learn a little bit more about the history of the vibrating massager and female orgasm. Please drop me a line if you have questions or would like to share your experiences.
In the History of Gynecology, a Surprising Chapter
By NATALIE ANGIER
February 23, 1999 New York Times
© copyright 1999 New York Times
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